My name is Joseph Sedillo and I’m proud to be the Coordinator for the Cascade AIDS Project (CAP) Men’s Wellness Center.

First, I should tell you how I arrived at my present position in the Men’s Prevention and Wellness Program, within the Prevention Services Department of Cascade AIDS Project. There was an event in my life that affected me dramatically and started me on the path that brought me here.

I grew up in New Mexico, and “came out” as a gay man in an environment much like that in many other places in the US. There were communities in which I felt welcomed and others in which I felt threatened. I learned to accept there would be challenges placed before me because of my sexual identity.

HIV status, however, is an element above and beyond being gay or living an alternative lifestyle. My mother’s biggest concern, when I announced my sexual identity to her, was the threat of my contracting HIV. She knew the tragic effect that AIDS had on the gay community, and she pleaded with me to be careful.

My moment of truth arrived when I finally got tested for HIV. My test was negative. I did not have HIV. But the testing experience was so negative, it left me shaken and humiliated. The nurse who administered the test made no secret of her disdain and disapproval of my lifestyle. She lectured and scolded me for who I was and how I lived my life, when all I had come to her for was information about my HIV status. I didn’t ask for her judgment, but she gave it anyway.

I left feeling a range of emotions. I was angry and embarrassed and I felt violated and insulted. But these feelings were soon replaced with a sense of resolve. I knew this was not the way I should have been treated, and I was determined to see to it that others would not have to endure such humiliation when they were already in the vulnerable position of seeking medical information related to their personal lives.

Immediately after I received my degree in psychology from Macalester College in St. Paul, MN, I moved back home to New Mexico and volunteered at our local HIV Services organization. I was soon hired to work in their Health Education Department as an HIV tester and counselor, with my primary focus on the low-income Latino population.

In 2006, I came to Portland to do a training on HIV counseling. I immediately fell in love with the city and the area and vowed to move here when opportunity allowed. In 2007, that opportunity arrived. I interviewed and was hired for my present position of Coordinator of CAP’s Men’s Wellness Center.

The Men’s Wellness Center opened in June 2006. But it was the result of much prior consideration and planning. Although CAP has been providing HIV services since 1985, the Men’s Wellness Center was born from a focused effort to involve Portland’s gay and bisexual male community members, brought together to tell us what they felt this community needed.

The result was the Men’s Wellness Center, unique in Portland and one of precious few in the United States. Located in the heart of downtown, it embodies a revolutionary approach to HIV prevention and care for gay and bisexual men. Rather than the traditional medical model that focuses on the disease, this space focuses on the overall health of participants. Whether local or from out of town, men can find information, peer support and keys to self-care in a place where they are welcome, respected and valued, and among friends.

Here’s just a sample of what’s currently going on at the Men’s Wellness Center:

· Free rapid HIV testing and screening for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Tuesdays 5pm to 9pm.
(The sight of a line of young men waiting to enter the Men’s Wellness Center for testing, recently was described by Willamette Week’s Byron Beck as an “OMG [Oh My God] moment,” as he marveled at this major step forward and out of the shadows for the gay community.)

· Saturday night free rapid HIV testing.
(Believe it or not, Saturday night testing is almost unheard of, anywhere. But it makes perfect sense. It’s when guys are out and about. As of November 2007, we’re providing this service at the Men’s Wellness Center!)

· Drug and alcohol referrals into treatment, support and mental health services through CAP’s community partners.

· Movie and Bingo nights and other get-togethers mixing fun with community building.

· Community forums and town hall discussions of topics identified as relevant by community members and CAP staff.

· One-on-one, group, and community-level HIV prevention interventions and dissemination of health and prevention materials and information.

· WiFi and Internet access and an extensive resource library on men’s health issues.

· Physical space and social support focusing on health and wellness and highlighting the positive, with knowledgeable staff who are familiar with local resources.

The Men’s Prevention and Wellness team continues to work in CAP’s downtown offices, along with all the other programs located there. But the Men’s Wellness Center affords a new portal to CAP that feels different for many of our clients, warmer and more welcoming. And the Men’s Wellness Center also serves as a base of operation for a host of prevention and support services reaching out across the Portland metro area to gay and bisexual men: The Link, a social networking group for HIV+ gay and bisexual men; Chicos Latinos, un grupo social y educacional para hombres gay/bisexual Latinos (a social and education group for Latino gay and bisexual men); +alk, a program for HIV+ gay and bisexual men designed to reduce stress around talking about one’s HIV status; Man2Man Recovery Group, a professionally facilitated group to explore relationships with drugs and/or alcohol, past or present, in a low-pressure environment.

A person is not defined purely by their sexual identity. A person who is HIV+ is not defined by their disease. Being HIV+ must fit into a person’s life, rather than a person’s life fit into their HIV status. As the name suggests, the Men’s Wellness Center focuses on good health, not on illness. The space is meant for all gay/bi men, not just those living with HIV. Mental, physical, and emotional health is what we are all about.

Joseph Sedillo

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